Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I've got ten minutes
At best.
Because I'm strangling time as always. I have work tonight at wonderful Johnny Rockets 4-11 or 10:30, depending on business and if I actually put my mind into doing sidework quickly. Granted it's difficult sidework. Hopefully I get something mind numbing easy like straws, or napkins. I think I've got a clean uniform ready... of course I won't go check. I'll just have to find out when it's too late to do anything about it =).
Just seems to work better that way.
I've been meaning to write sooner, and more frequently. It was actually apart of my new years resolutions... the ones I sorta pretended I wasn't going to make but of course you make them anyway. Well yeah, here sipping away at a Dunkin Donuts "latte" with skim milk and cinnamon syrup. The girl made it a bit too dry for my liking. But yes, of course that's another part of my new years resolutions in effect. Losing weight. Wah wah, yes I know. Right now I'm at a whooping 135lb's. I would love to drop down to a 120. So lovely. Even the number looks lovelier. 120. *sigh* I was exercising and eating salads before, and I lost weight pretty quickly I was a nice 130-128lb's. So I think with the upcoming summer bikini nightmare season, I should have plenty of motivation to get me through that extra 8-10lbs. But that's just me being silly and an insecure female.
Another resolution.
Stop being that insecure silly female. The one who takes sooo long getting ready because she feels like she needs to do a million things just to make herself presentable. And it's so odd at the same time, because I actually feel like... prettier than most other females most of the time. It's just those few times when I see a really beautiful girl or pictures of celebrities looking flawless when I start to feel inferior. So now it's a question of, okay should I focus on getting myself to look like them? Or should I change my focus and re-prioritize whats actually important in life. Intelligence, health, love, friends, family and of course money.
Because money is everything
And that's exactly why my ten minutes are up, 1 minute left to be precise, and I've got to get ready in 1/2 an hour to look pretty for work. *sigh* This was a silly post. But I just had to do it, just to get myself writing again.
Whatever
Because I'm strangling time as always. I have work tonight at wonderful Johnny Rockets 4-11 or 10:30, depending on business and if I actually put my mind into doing sidework quickly. Granted it's difficult sidework. Hopefully I get something mind numbing easy like straws, or napkins. I think I've got a clean uniform ready... of course I won't go check. I'll just have to find out when it's too late to do anything about it =).
Just seems to work better that way.
I've been meaning to write sooner, and more frequently. It was actually apart of my new years resolutions... the ones I sorta pretended I wasn't going to make but of course you make them anyway. Well yeah, here sipping away at a Dunkin Donuts "latte" with skim milk and cinnamon syrup. The girl made it a bit too dry for my liking. But yes, of course that's another part of my new years resolutions in effect. Losing weight. Wah wah, yes I know. Right now I'm at a whooping 135lb's. I would love to drop down to a 120. So lovely. Even the number looks lovelier. 120. *sigh* I was exercising and eating salads before, and I lost weight pretty quickly I was a nice 130-128lb's. So I think with the upcoming summer bikini nightmare season, I should have plenty of motivation to get me through that extra 8-10lbs. But that's just me being silly and an insecure female.
Another resolution.
Stop being that insecure silly female. The one who takes sooo long getting ready because she feels like she needs to do a million things just to make herself presentable. And it's so odd at the same time, because I actually feel like... prettier than most other females most of the time. It's just those few times when I see a really beautiful girl or pictures of celebrities looking flawless when I start to feel inferior. So now it's a question of, okay should I focus on getting myself to look like them? Or should I change my focus and re-prioritize whats actually important in life. Intelligence, health, love, friends, family and of course money.
Because money is everything
And that's exactly why my ten minutes are up, 1 minute left to be precise, and I've got to get ready in 1/2 an hour to look pretty for work. *sigh* This was a silly post. But I just had to do it, just to get myself writing again.
Whatever
Friday, January 1, 2010
I don't want to do this anymore.
The rejection only hurts more.
2010 isn't looking bright for me. I wanted to start the year off in a positive state of mind, and it was so difficult to do that trust me. And once things started to feel like they were bearable and that I was strong enough to smile through what I hated one thing had to make me snap. I lost my grip on the strings and I fell apart. For the past four years I've been dealing with the same situations, the same people, the same fucked up feelings the same outcomes. No matter how much I have to put up with some guy who doesn't love me and all his shit, the more it hurts.
I don't want to make a resolution.
I just want people to leave me alone. I don't want to be friends with benefits. I don't want to be lonely all the time. I don't want to be blamed. I'm so tired. I've said that before. I always just make myself believe in love. And it just doesn't exist for me.
I dont have anything else to say.
2010 isn't looking bright for me. I wanted to start the year off in a positive state of mind, and it was so difficult to do that trust me. And once things started to feel like they were bearable and that I was strong enough to smile through what I hated one thing had to make me snap. I lost my grip on the strings and I fell apart. For the past four years I've been dealing with the same situations, the same people, the same fucked up feelings the same outcomes. No matter how much I have to put up with some guy who doesn't love me and all his shit, the more it hurts.
I don't want to make a resolution.
I just want people to leave me alone. I don't want to be friends with benefits. I don't want to be lonely all the time. I don't want to be blamed. I'm so tired. I've said that before. I always just make myself believe in love. And it just doesn't exist for me.
I dont have anything else to say.
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