I don't want to do this anymore.

The rejection only hurts more.
2010 isn't looking bright for me. I wanted to start the year off in a positive state of mind, and it was so difficult to do that trust me. And once things started to feel like they were bearable and that I was strong enough to smile through what I hated one thing had to make me snap. I lost my grip on the strings and I fell apart. For the past four years I've been dealing with the same situations, the same people, the same fucked up feelings the same outcomes. No matter how much I have to put up with some guy who doesn't love me and all his shit, the more it hurts.
I don't want to make a resolution.
I just want people to leave me alone. I don't want to be friends with benefits. I don't want to be lonely all the time. I don't want to be blamed. I'm so tired. I've said that before. I always just make myself believe in love. And it just doesn't exist for me.
I dont have anything else to say.