My back hurts...

Really fuckin bad.
Man last night was pretty awesome. There you go, take that and make your own conclusions. Buy anywhoo... today is an important day. Not because it's said to be one in any calender( I don't think?) but because I symbolically believe it to be so. A friend of mine since 10th grade is leaving again to Pennsylvania, and it says a lot of me. First off, I texted him earlier this afternoon to see what he was up to. I'm not positive if his phone actually has any service on it but it's an attempt at friendly conversation. Which I believe he's been lacking. I can't say that i haven't perhaps contributed to this foul behavior against someone who is really in no position to be soaking any of it in. But, my friends do like to wallow in their negative behavior against each other and praise themselves for it. However, I'm sure some underlying hatred exists.
Or maybe not, who am I to say...
But in contrast to my outlook towards life recently, dreary I must admit... I'm trying to do something against the grain today. Be postive. I hope he calls me or something because I really have no plans today except for reading "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift and a chapter of " The Great Gastby". Not for any homework or school studying mind you... I just feel sort of retarded. I haven't read anything in so long, or at least paid any close attention to anything I've read. It was a goal of mine last year to get myself caught up with a bunch of Classic literature, because I felt like I was left out of so much educational opportunity in High School. I really hated the fact that I wasn't in Honors English or history. I really felt like I deserved it. And because of my agitation with my average ho-hum classes for those four years I lost so much motivation for school and didn't bother handing in any assignments, or at least on time. I wonder why my teachers never stopped to ask me why I was always handing things in late or not at all, and when I did actually hand in assignments I always got A's. That's high school education for ya.
They only really care about their job.
Which is quite unfortunate. Because they have none of my respect for those jobs they hold so dearly. Screw them. I wanted so much more for myself. Well, now it's in my hands to get myself out of this ditch where I lay and on solid ground. I missed the deadline to withdraw from classes... and I really did to drop West. Civ. only because I just haven't gone to class and I know I've missed the midterms and a helluva lot of vocab quizzes. Sad because I enjoyed that class a lot really. I don't know though. I feel like a lot of my failure in college hasn't been due to any inability to complete the course work, but because of outside hindering. Like the fact that I don't have my own car to drive myself to class, the library when I need to, or work. Ive been seriously considering taking the next fall semester off to work full-time and save money for a car. I want to take a good amount of classes this summer so I don't hurt myself too much, but i really think I need the time to work and get myself in the position I should have been in entering college.